Closing In On Surgery Day

May 30th, 2011 – Dinner at the Baumgartner House:

It probably seemed like a mundane Monday or Memorial Day holiday for most, but for me it sure wasn’t. It would be the day my parents would meet Kara’s family. I knew her immediate family, but I would be meeting many more people near and dear to her. I was definitely filled with nerves. I naturally wanted them all to like me and genuinely approve of me. I mean after all, their beloved Kara was going to go under the knife for a stranger! I felt a pressure, a pressure I of course put on myself. I told myself to just be myself; that was all I could do and hope that I wouldn’t accidentally say anything stupid! When do you ever meet people under these circumstances? There are no guidelines or rule books to look to for help. It’s just an uncharted thing that you navigate the best you can.

I knew everyone would be nice, that wasn’t a concern of mine. So my family hopped in the car and drove the whole two minutes over to Kara’s parents house from ours. We pulled up to their gorgeous home overlooking the water and knocked on the door. Her dad Tim welcomed us with open arms. From that moment on, I knew it would be a great evening. Everyone was so friendly! They all seemed so excited to be a part of this. It was very reassuring for me that her family was so supportive of what we were going to do. We shared a delicious dinner outside, filled with good conversation and even better company. It was a very relaxed atmosphere and vibe, which I knew my parents appreciated.

It was so nice to see all of the children too. Kara’s children, Ainslee and Elise were there, as well as Kara's niece Ella and nephew Kohen, whom I taught at the school I worked at. It was so nice to see them all. The presence of children always puts me at ease. It made me feel so good that little Ainslee was excited to see me, because I was excited to see her too! She is the sweetest child and I was glad she had warmed up to me so quickly. I’ll never forget what Kara’s mother Nikki had said. She said how excited they were to be doing this and that they were glad I was doing it too!! This blew me away! She was happy I was doing this!? These few words spoke volumes to me. These people were some of the most down to earth, kindest people I had ever met. God’s plan really is the best.

Early on, I hoped my donor would be someone I knew really well. Probably because I thought it would’ve been easier or something to that effect. I would have never dreamed it would be someone I didn’t know! I’m so overjoyed that it worked out the way that it did. Kara was for sure divinely picked. The fact that she answered her call, was the true miracle that took place. She comes from a wonderful family that I’m glad I now know and she is such a good hearted person that I really see as a friend! I lucked out, better yet I’m truly blessed. The countdown continued, only 48 hours left until the big event!



May 31st, 2011 – The day before surgery:

Of course the surgery was on my mind at every turn. I was also extremely busy packing for the hospital and my long hotel stay in Seattle. I decided I would recover in a hotel with my aunt Swedini, the aunt that wrote the initial email that was sent out to everyone. I stayed in Seattle because after surgery, I had clinic appointments two times a week for about the next 3 months. The plan was to stay close until I recovered a bit and could make the commute. Living in a hotel seemed easier too because there was no cleaning or cooking etc. So I stuffed my car with all of my dialysis stuff, a months worth of clothes and all of the other things I rationalized as necessities. I kissed my mom goodbye and hopped in my car and headed to Seattle. My aunt flew in early that day and had been waiting for me at the hotel. I was so happy to see her waiting for me! I was glad she came to take care of me. She is one of the best advocates I know. If you want someone on your side, it’s her.

We unpacked, got some food with my boyfriend Cody and his dad Jim. After our delicious meal, we returned to the hotel to unwind before the big day. I did my last round of dialysis the night before which was sooo liberating. If I could’ve bottled that feeling, I would have. I think to myself all the time how grateful I am to Kara that I don’t have to dialyze anymore or plan my life around it. I tried my best to get some sleep before the surgery. I wasn’t exactly successful seeing that I got a whopping two hours worth! It was one day or less until the surgery now!

~Cherina

Meet The Family

4/11/11

Last night Shane and I went to dinner with Cherina, her dad Steve, and boyfriend Cody. We met at Silver City at 5:30, were seated shortly thereafter and left at 8. We sat and talked about everything for 2 and a half hours, and the time just flew by. Her mom was unable to make it and we hope to get together some time again with her, too. After we got in the car, Shane turned to me and said, “good job.” And that was it.

At least three times Steve told me that Cherina and I could be first cousins, we looked so much alike to him. He also thought that we had a lot in common. He is a sweet man, a hard worker who would do anything for his daughter. A few times you could see him lost in thought. I can only assume that he was thinking about Cherina and how he would do anything to help her, or thinking about how his baby’s nightmare might be close to an end, or perhaps thinking about how lucky he was to have a daughter with such strength, faith and composure. It is obvious to me that Cherina gets a lot of her wonderful personality from her dad. I found myself wanting to hug him multiple times last night – I guess this is not odd though, I often find myself wanting to hug people!

It was great to see Cody again, too. Cody’s older sister and I went to junior high and high school together, and did hang out a little. Cody is the same age as my little brother and they were friends in school, too. Cody reminded me that the last time we saw each other was my senior year – his freshman year – at CWU at the second and final house-party my roommates and I went to. Somehow we got trapped in a staircase with a ton of people in this sweaty, dark house, too many people in both directions and nowhere to go. House parties seem like a lifetime ago, carefree college days are long gone for both of us now.

             Watching Cody and Cherina was fun, they are obviously in love and treat each other so well. There were multiple sideways glances and smiles so big they must be coming from the heart. Cody’s dad has spent 2 years on the UNOS liver transplant list, and has had a few close calls, but so far nothing has panned out for him. I can’t imagine having one loved one on the national transplant list, let alone two. I might want to run and hide, live my life in denial or eat a LOT of chocolate ice cream if I were in his situation. At one point last night he said that he knows way too much about transplants right now. Isn’t that the truth!

Cherina told me last night that she is all set to start peritoneal dialysis any day now. The doctors have left it up to her. She was explaining that in a healthy human their creatinine levels are .8, dialysis starts around 5 and she is currently at 6. Anything above a 2.5 is too toxic to carry a pregnancy to term, so most people on dialysis will never be able to get pregnant since dialysis doesn’t usually lower the creatinine that much. She will be able to have more flexibility and actually be at home for her dialysis treatments, which will allow her to continue to work and travel. Last night she was saying the doctors advised her to not wait too long, as some of the side effects can become pretty unbearable if she does, but she’s not sure if she is there yet. I brought up the fact that she might not have to be on it that long IF our crossmatch comes back negative, and we should know really soon. Cherina has been kept completely in the dark about the donor side of the transplant, and it is my understanding that even her nephrologist doesn’t know when there is a potential for her transplant to take place. Since multiple donors have expressed willingness to donate to Cherina, she has been under the impression that they would go through each potential donor, work them up one at a time doing all of the testing and once that is done they will choose from the best candidate. In reality, if we have a negative crossmatch, we could have surgery in a month and a half, maybe sooner if we were really on the ball about things. She was shocked and had no idea. I have been texting her all last week, saying “day 10 of 10-14”, “day 12”, etc. and she didn’t realize why I was so anxious to hear the answer.

After meeting her family and seeing her once again I am so confident in what is about to happen. I can’t explain it, but I do know there are very few things that I have felt so strongly about in my life. My purpose is to heal her. This is my calling …

 ~Kara